As a guy I really don’t know too much about the world of bras. I mean, they’re cool I guess and they do accentuate the goodies (unless you’re into that National Geographic look – I know you people exist), but ultimately, I look at them as just one more thing that’s getting between me and my goal. Well, that is until now.
Supposedly, a company called Lisca just created the “smart memory bra” – a bra that morphs based on the wearer’s sexual attraction at any given moment. If the wearer is attracted to someone and correspondingly their body temperature rises (which is a common side effect when you’re around furry man beasts such as myself), the bra will push one’s love bags up, creating a natural “push up” look. As their sexual attractiveness decreases, the breasticles will go back to normal and the cleave will retract.
Wow...that's a nice bra...yeah.....
To me, this is a win-win-win situation (man, do I love The Office). Let’s analyze this:
The ladies who wear this bra can look good for the men that they want. Sweet stuff, now you girls can attract the guys that you actually want. At the same time, us men who are horrible at picking up hints (guilty) now have a new way of catching the drift. And lastly, those of us who love the sport of motor boating can enjoy the show if you’re randomly a little sweaty. Booya! Now that’s what I’m talking about! I’d say that they should make some similar for men and underwear but I’m just not gonna go there. I’m comfortable with my sexuality and all but there’s a certain point where it’s just too much to handle.
Ladies: here’s the link to buy the bra, just make sure you show me how it works. Please….
Guys: here’s the link to the random magnified look of the bra…holy crap…
Yes! Two articles within the same week! I’M BACK, BABY! I’ve got a few lined up, so start checking the site more often, we’re gonna rock out with our socks out.
So being the avid Trader Joe’s shopper that I am, I love going food shopping simply because of the fact that I experiment with a lot of the food that I get. I really do make an effort to try new things all the time and have had mostly positive consequences from doing so. But sine I’m still only a mere level four chili chef, I’ve got to cook more and get some experience under my belt. I cooked these puppies a while ago, I just went through my blog abadonment for so long that I forgot to get to posting this experience. We can thank my stumble addiction (anyone that stumbles can understand that link) for this idea.
Here are the ingredients in a very scattered order:
Pizza dough (pre-made at Trade Joe's), mozzarella cheese, flour, salami, pepperoni, garlic powder, olive oil, onion flakes, sea salt, crushed up malgueta peppers, and tomato sauce
The first thing that needs to be done is loosen up the dough. Although I had some fun throwing the dough up in the air, it definitely made a mess because I had put some flour on it to keep it from sticking to everything (luckily, I did this out in my hallway so I wouldn’t have to clean my kitchen floor…but don’t tell my landlord or imma cut you). After it warms up and loosens up, I separated the giant glob into smaller bite size balls of dough.
Before I started stuffing each ball, I took the garlic powder, sea salt, onion flakes, and the malagueta pepper and combined them together to create a unique seasoning for the pizza bites. Additionally, I chopped up the cheese into small pieces as well as the salami and pepperoni. Each ball was then stuffed with several pieces of cheese, meat, and the seasoning. I also made sure that I put olive oil all over each ball and pinched them all closed so that I could avoid making a complete melted mess all over my pan. I also put some seasoning on top for some extra flavor. Make sure that if you decide to make some of these you spread out the balls (hahaha, womp) so they all have space to expand. There’s nothing worse than balls being stuck together…yep, that’s true.
One of several batches
Oh yeah, by now you should be totally preheated, so hopefully you’re not making these as you’re reading this article. Haha, I know that at least one person will do it. Anyway, pump your oven up to 400 degrees and when you’re done with however many batches you’re making (by the way, you can freeze these guys, I did it with at least one batch and they tasted fine when I cooked them later) pop them in the oven. Then wait for 20 minutes and wait for the magic:
5 minutes in with no flash
10 minutes in with too much flash
20 minutes in with perfect light exposure
Okay, so the cheese ’sploded out of a few of them, but they still look yummy! While they cool, make sure you heat up some tomato sauce for dipping purposes. Although mine turned out good, they could have been better. Here’s a huge suggestion for any of you that want to make these: make sure you put a LOT of cheese in each ball, seriously, overload them. Also, make sure that you have enough dough so that they don’t explode like mine did. The main problem is that they weren’t gooey, just cheesy. Even so, these turned out to be pretty good and would serve perfectly as finger food for guests before cooking them some of your “Evan-Made Chili“. Next time I’ll just make a pizza though, I have a feeling that would turn out awesome…
Hello beer review, long time no see. You’ve been doing well? That’s good. Now that we’re reacquainted, let’s begin:
Thanks to Jess for egging me on to get back to writing…I needed a little push Anywho, since many of you know that I’m such a huge hop head, I’m always down for a good IPA. But Kraiggles the Bagels had been raving about a beer for months that’s a super hoppy non-IPA. Now before I go any further with this review, I need to clarify something since this is one of the first reviews I’ve written on a hoppy beer. I mean, c’mon,I need to give some explanation to any of you aspiring brew connoisseurs that are currently epic noobz (you know who you are). First off, hops are one of the key ingredients to all styles of beer and act as a preservative. Furthermore, they balance some of the sweeter, malty flavors and if enough are added, make the beer bitter tasting. The reason why I mentioned IPA (Indian Pale Ale) is because that style of beer always is defined by hop character. But the main point I’m trying to make is that all beers have hops and no one distinct style is loaded with them. And since any style can be hoppy and capture different hop characteristics, let’s jump into this beer style: the American Amber.
The American Amber is a beer that can easily be tamed and is characterized by appearance. Ranging from a light red to a dark, deep red hue, the American Amber is pretty much an umbrella style that includes many, many beers. Although color in beer does not tell very much about what the beer tastes like, with every amber you can expect certain things. Since the amber color is created by adding a lot of grain to the brew batch, most beers under this style feature a malty backbone. But other than that, these beers can have relatively low to high hop levels, could be simple to complex, and could really feature any number of different flavors. This one in particular is a super hop bomb made with five different hops. I can’t wait to have a hopgasm: this review is for Troegs Nugget Nectar.
The label for this puppy is really friggin’ sexy in my opinion. Bright orange with a fist-sized hop: labels do not get any more blunt than that. Get ready to be punched courtesy of Hop Norris…Chuck’s beer cousin? Yeah, I swear I just make this stuff up as I go…Poured out, this beer looks a lot like cream soda. It’s completely transparent and clear looking with some “meh” head retention. And yes, meh is on the official scale of measuring head. Overall, sort of boring looking…the rest of its qualities better make up for it.
The smell of this beer definitely is impactful. Hops, citrus flavors (particularly orange) all burst into your nostrils to create an overall sweet aroma. Other than that, it’s really nice smelling and the hop complexity of the beer definitely rubs off on you.
Fortunately, the look of this beer is definitely compensated by its taste. The only real flavor that hits you is hop. However, unlike hops in IPAs, which generally can be sharp, to the point, and strong, the hops in this beer are completely incremental. As I enjoyed each gulp and swooshed it around, I could taste each of the different hops that this beer is loaded with. Since I myself love hops, I did not find this beer to be harsh or scary and believe that those who normally don’t like hoppy beers could enjoy this. Additionally, Troegs really perfected the release of flavors with this beer; nothing is nullified from a different flavor and it’s possible to really taste each part of the beer. Although the mouthfeel wasn’t anything spectacular and was a bit thin for my liking, it was so delicious that I didn’t care. Definitely really drinkable and definitely a beer that I’d be happy to have a few of. Just get ready to kill your palate, the hops tend to do that.
Overall, I really enjoyed this beer but I just wish I had written this article sooner. For some strange reason, this brew is seasonal to February, even though it’s really an all-year round beer. I’m not sure if you’ll be able to get your hands on this beer right now since they’re no longer brewing it at this time of year. However, next year, go buy yourself a six pack of it and give one to your good friend Evan…after all, he’s the one who told you about it
Yay pictures! Okay, more posts will be coming, I promise. I’ve got like 4 reviews lined up, so I just gotta crack down on them. Please keep sticking with me – it’s worth it!
Wow…you know you don’t write enough when you forgot you changed your blog’s theme…holy crapasaurus, I can’t believe some of you people are still loyal to me! I’m still in a weird life transition these days, which is my only explanation for not writing much. But anywho, I thought I’d talk about this random obsession I’ve developed recently: zombies. I have to blame Left 4 Dead completely for this…
Being the gamer that I am, I do crave first person shooters a lot of the time. But in the recent few years, I haven’t been able to find anything that’s good enough to grab my attention and retain it. I seem to always end up with games like Crysis: Warhead, which is really pretty to look at but EXTREMELY short/boring in terms of plot. Also, I’m all about interacting with other people online – there’s nothing more awesome than laughing at some geeky kid screaming at you because you took his armor or something. Oh Diablo 2…how you’ve supplied such good memories. So after some researching and $1000 later (yay for building an Evan-made compooper can actually handle games!), we come to Left 4 Dead.
When I first saw the trailer/demo of this game on X-Play about a year ago, I seriously had a nerdgasm. First person shooter/4 player co-op/hordes of zombies running straight at you? Yeah, that’s my kind of game. Although I never was really all that into zombies and whatnot, I figured why not? I loved Resident Evil 4, maybe I should give the undead genre a go. Ultimately, it was a good move.
Shooting zombies has never been so pretty....
The presentation of this game is very nice looking (typical of recent Valve games) but is extremely simple. There’s not much a plot line: you’re one of four survivors trying to survive through a campaign of zombies running at you full speed. That’s it. No back-story or resolved issue at the end. No character development or leveling up. Literally you just grab a gun and start going through the world taken over by a zombie apocalypse, hoping to be rescued at the end. Each campaign is creepy on its own and supposedly references several of the more famous zombie movies that I haven’t seen. From watching an airplane crash land right in front of you to being able to blow up a gas station or just simply walking through a hospital with ambiguous bodies lying on the floor, this game is effective at creating a world infested by a zombie apocalypse. But here’s the beautiful part: the game’s engine makes each campaign different every time you play. Blood written messages that are written all over walls are different every time and things like once alive humans/zombies can be found lying on the ground in different places every time. Additionally, zombies never spawn in one or two spots – they can be generated in small or large amounts in any area. So even though there’s only four maps, it feels different every time you play because of things like changing dialouges between characters, zombie spawn locations, and intensities of the game.
In terms of game play, there are very few complaints that can be made. Rather than playing through your typical plot, you choose one of four campaigns that are set up like individual movies. Each can last between one to two hours, depending on the set difficulty or the party that you’re with and is split into five chapters. Although upgraded weapons are available as you trek through the level (again, these randomly spawn at different places that rarely seem to be placed in convenient places), you have a choice of a few but varied weapons. But what makes the game so fun is how different the scenario can change. One minute you could be walking through an abandoned subway tunnel (super creepy/awesome) and the next you could be running back, being chased by literally 40 or so zombies. Ultimately, the online co-op play makes it amazing, your team dynamics can make or break the game – without any communication, this game is meh. Good thing there’s plenty of “cool” kids like me that have headsets for this game…yeah…Oh yeah, and if you don’t feel like playing the campaign, you can play as a specialized zombie in the versus mode. It’s four on four mayhem of you trying to kill each other through a campaign…sexy…well, not really…sorta.
The only complaints that I have is that once you get to know the levels, you stop exploring the beautiful worlds that were created. They really should of made a way for there to be multiple endings to each section of each campaign. Also, a few new weapons would rock too, maybe a different kind of pistol or assault weapon? Is that so much to ask?! Well, actually it’s not; in a week an expansion set is coming out which is the price of FO FREE (you know you love how “gangsta” I am…) All in all, this is an EXTREMELY good game. Here’s to shooting zombies in the face: 9.5/10.
The worst part of this entire game obsession is now I start thinking about how I could stake out rooms if zombies really did start taking over. I was just in 30th Street Station thinking about it: how scary/awesome would that be? Just thinking about how eerie it would be – a dark, huge room with no lights on and only the sound of zombies shuffling and moaning – makes me shiver in excitement. Ooooooh, that would be freaky! Seriously though, make fun as much as you want. If a zombie apocalypse does happen, I think all of my “training” through Left 4 Dead will come in handy. So yeah, laugh now while you still can. When you’re a zombie, you’re gonna get pistol whipped and then taste bullet courtesy of Chef Evan, “The Zombie Womper”. Some title…I think I’ll put that on my resume.
This was something that I randomly found while scavenging for a new article on the Eagles or Phillies on ESPN. Although I’d like to think that I’d want to parttake in this, I know I wouldn’t be able to – I’m trying to maintain my girlish figure.
Down in North Carolina every year, you can participate in something called the Krispy Kreme Challenege. For a mere $17, you get registration for the event, a nifty t-shirt, and an opportunity to have at it with 12 glazed KK doughnuts – 2,400 calories of sugary, fatty goodness. The task seems simple, nay…awesome: run 2 miles, eat a dozen KKs, and run back within an hour. And oh yeah, you can’t throw up or you’re disqualified. If you look on their site, you can see a list of all the successful competitors…jeez, some kid did it in 28 minutes!
During the first year of the KKC, 2004, only 15 people partook in the race and the founder of the challenge actually missed it because he slept in. Over the years, the challenge has grown in popularity and had over 5,000 particpants this year. One of the coolest parts about this challenege is that all proceeds go to charity. So get out and there and run, fatbody!
I changed my mind, I want in. Anyone feel like training with me? Here’s the original article; I suggest you check out the video of this year’s event.
So this week off actually did an excellent job of helping me get a grip of things. I ended up kicking ass on the GMATs and got my first 4.0 term GPA ever, so that’s pretty awesome/nerdy. But this spring I’ll be pushing the reset button on life and hope to start anew. Although I’m not sure where things stand with what I’ll be doing to occupy my time, I’ll definitely be writing more. I might be pursuing one of my many business ideas and using this blog as a way to promote the business as well. But random articles will continue and hopefully, new articles will become a daily occurrences. Last term of undergrad….here we go.
So I failed at writing an article for every day…I officially suck. Anyway, here are some fun updates with life/reasons why I haven’t been writing:
I’m taking the GMATs again in one week
I’m no longer writing for my school newspaper
I’m one quarter away from finishing my undergraduate portion of my program
The dry spell continues
I’m in a funk
To be honest, I’m pretty crabby these days. I hate ranting online like this because it reminds me of my days of livejournal, but I need to just express myself. Life really hasn’t been too great these days for me. As each day passes, I keep wondering what I’m doing wrong and why nothing seems to really be flowing my way. I mean, I’m definitely thankful for what I have and recognize that in the grand scheme of things, I’m a much luckier person than most in this world. But I guess when you’re so used to a certain quality of life, you get spoiled and you start to sound like a complainer. Ultimately, I’m watching myself change and it’s mostly in good ways, but I’m having issues adjusting I guess.
My biggest issue these days is my way with women – that is if you want to call it a “way”. I used to be a manslut; having my fun here and there and having relatively meh standards (ladies that were somehow involved with me in that period, don’t take offense…not that any of you probably read my blog). I mean, it’s not like I hooked up with anyone/anything. You at least had to have a decent personality so that we could talk about more than my sexualtastic fur. But nowadays, my standards have risen and I want some meaning behind what I do. It’s friggin’ crazy: I had an opportunity to kill my dry spell the other night but for some reason, I stopped myself. For the ladies that don’t understand: THAT IS A REALLY BIG DEAL. It’s not easy for a guy to just stop in the middle of a sexual act, no matter what the girl looks like or what her personality is like. But in this particular situation, we had positive marks on both looks and personality. And while I let you ladies finish inserting your comments about how all of us guys think with our heads, I need to explain that I’m starting to notice that I’m growing up. I mean, I’m turning down some desperately desired action! I’m starting to realize that I need some substance in my life and that for my entire life, I’ve never had a real relationship that has made me feel great about myself. All I’ve ever gotten is screwed with and it definitely is painful. I don’t know what I should think anymore though, every time I feel like there’s an opportunity, it falls apart into mush leaving me confused and even more frustrated. I guess this is my official profession of me really wanting a girlfriend that I think I deserve. For those interested, I am now accepting applications. If you feel that you fill the position well, please fill this out and turn it into me at your earliest convenience.
I guess if the girlfriend thing doesn’t work out anytime soon, I at least need to find a new activity to get involved with. All my current activities are just too boring or I can’t stand anymore. Any suggestions? Name ‘em!
I’m going to Stowe right after I finish taking the GMATs. I’m hoping that’ll clear my head, give me some awesome pictures, and get me ready to come back ready to write. I apologize to any of my readers that actually look forward to new posts from me. I promise things will be back and rockin’ soon, I just gotta get myself back in a groove of things.
So I really do suck – I’m having troubles staying on top of myself in terms of writing new articles often. I gotta start doing it, so seriously, yell at me about it! This is my first article being written on my first Evan-built compooper though, so that’s pretty neato. Anyway, I truly am going to make up my lack of writing to you loyal peoples that are still sticking with me because Philly Beer Week is coming up next week. I’m “required” to go to a bunch of events because I’m writing in the paper so as a way of celebrating, I’m going to try to write a beer review for every day next week on my blogasaurus. That’s a ton of writing and it’s going to take a ton of time out of my life to do… and it’s all for you! Anyway, let’s talk about something different now.
Yay for horrible paragraph transitions! What is with this whole new Facebook tagging trend we’re experiencing? You know what I’m talking about: you associate a friend with a character, which shows how personal and thoughtful you are. As you can see, I edited one up (don’t lie, you’re totally impressed by my paint skills) and made my own personalities to express how “awesome” I think it is. Maybe I’ll tag people on Facebook with my version later, but only later so that you don’t consider me a total hippocrit thingy. But what’s the deal with this? It was cute the first time but now I’m looking at some people’s profiles and noticing that they’re in like 3 or 4 of these things tagged by different people. I wouldn’t say I’m really ranting about this, more just observing how weird it is.
I guess I just find it funny that we consider these things to be nice and personal because someone went out of their way to associate a friend with each character. Same thing goes with greetings cards. I mean, they’re nice to get and all, but who set this standard? Since when has it been a requirement to get someone a birthday card? I am weird to think that it’s more personal to just give someone a call rather than send them a piece of paper or cutesy little email animation? And speaking of which, why do people love to have birthday wishes totally submerge their wall? I always go out of my way to send someone a personal message on their birthday on Facebook rather than wall posting. And yknow what? People have gone out of their way to respond to me and tell me how personal they thought my message was. Ahh, off track! Back to cards: Screw Hallmark, I say we all rebel against them! Who’s with me!?
I’m definitely a bit rusty at writing posts…I’ll be back in full force soon though. Promise
So I took the GMATs and screwed up. This has definitely been a rough weekend for me, but I need to just pick up and keep on truckin’. I’m also really going to make an effort to start writing again; I miss utilizing this outlet and feel like I’ve been both depriving myself and any readers that actually care about what I have to say. I started writing this article a week or two ago, but never got around to finishing it. Even though the Academy Awards are over, I have to rave about how awesome this movie was.
I remember hearing a lot about Slumdog Millionaire a few months ago, when no one even knew what it was. I only heard great things and didn’t know anything about it, including whether or not it was in English (it mostly is). But as time passed, more and more people started seeing it and the hype around it grew tremendously. I finally saw it a week or two ago and need to back all the hype that’s been made with it.
Seriously, this is an incredible movie. For those that don’t know, it’s about a boy that grew up in the slums of Mumbai and is on the Indian version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. Accused of cheating because he is able to answer some very hard questions, the movie progresses through his life and ultimately, how he knows each right answer. The movie is portrayed in flashbacks of three different stages of his life: his childhood, early teens, and older teens. The film explores the dirty and twisted world of the poor districts of India and reveals that hope and love are what carries us to our bests. Plus, there’s a badass dance sequence at the end. Don’t worry, I didn’t spoil anything.
What I loved about this movie was that there were no real big name actors/actresses…at least that I knew. I heard that the main actor, Dev Patel, supposedly only starred in one other movie, in which he got naked. From showing your ass to no one to the Oscars…that’s one way to do it. More and more I’m learning to appreciate movies that are made purely for the art, with no name people and just a great script…or maybe I just love foreign films. I recently saw Waltz with Bashir as well. It’s a little more graphic, but great nonetheless.
Anyway, I highly suggest you see it if you want to reaffirm how fortunate we all are and how the simple things are what make life so good. Visually done very well and beautiful in how the story is told, this movie really made me think about life and how crazy the world is around us. It made me realize how lucky I am to be in my situation and that I don’t have to deal with half the crap so many other people deal with. No more bitching about the GMATs, I just gotta rock them now.
Again, sorry for not writing a ton of articles these days – one more week until I’m done with the GMATs. I’ll do an extra beer article just to make it up to you all. But man, it can’t come soon enough…Anyway, I’ve done way too many local reviews these days. Sure, we Americans can make some kick ass brews, but we can’t go neglecting the rest of the world now, can we? Additionally, I haven’t done any kind of lager since my 2nd review of Aventinus. I’ve kind of made this bad generalization that ales are more exciting than lagers and provide more extreme flavors. So in light of that, I decided to try another style of German lager and hopefully break this attitude I have. This week’s style is one that we all know, but never realized that it was actually a “real’ style of beer. Let’s rock this haus, it’s Eisbock time!
Y’know beers like Natty Ice and Bud Ice? Yeah, they fit under this category. But wait, don’t worry! I promise not all of them taste like the regular feces water that you’re so accustomed to. For realzies, have I ever steered you wrong? But as you probably could guess, Eisbock translates to “Ice Beer”. Eisbocks start off as a regular German lager and are partially frozen in barrels. Due to water’s chemical properties (science is only cool when its associated with beer), it freezes before any other ingredients and turns to ice. The ice is then removed from the beer, which creates a more heavily concentrated bock. So when you’re sipping on your Natty Ice in your beer goblet that it “deserves”, all you’re drinking is regular Natty with less water in it. And now you know that these “ice” beers are not just some dumb thing that these breweries came up with – it’s their horrible attempts at representing a style. Anyway, here’s to real beer: this week we’re looking at Kulmbach Eisbock.
The label of this one is kind of strange. It’s like a winter stripper meets holographic wrapping paper. Definitely really tacky, but for some reason I like it (ooooohhh, shiny!). Poured out, it’s a very deep red color with a fine with a half inch layer of bubbly head (I’m so immature, but that sounds gross/awesome…okay, more gross than awesome) complimenting it. Not the belle of the ball, but good looking nonetheless.
The nose had an overall sweetness but wasn’t extreme in any way. A sweeter syrup, raisins/prunes, and a small amount of malt came through, which in combination delivered nicely. Like any beer, as it warmed up, more flavors became apparent and the smells became increasingly potent. Good stuff.
And just as I had hoped, the taste of this one was pretty good. A lager yeast was easily identified (drink any lager outside of the major domestic breweries and you’ll have an idea of what I’m talking about) as well as a fig and raisin flavor. Each gulp started with an abrupt funky flavor and ended with a jagged, upward-pointed edge. It sounds weird, but when I was drinking this one with Kraig, we kept making a wave pattern in the air representing what it felt like. Like I said, science is only cool when it pertains to beer. As good as it tasted, I was definitely a bit frustrated with the mouthfeel on this one. Usually, beers tend to became smoother and creamier at they warm up. But for some weird reason, it did the exact opposite. This is the first time that I ever experienced this and got all bummed since it started off pretty nice.
Ultimately, this was a very good beer and highly enjoyable. I think I’m gonna have to drink agers a little more often; I’ve totally underestimated what they’re capable of. Here’s my BA ranking:
Anywho, since many of you know that I’m such a huge hop head, I’m always down for a good IPA. But Kraiggles the Bagels had been raving about a beer for months that’s a super hoppy non-IPA. Now before I go any further with this review, I need to clarify something since this is one of the first reviews I’ve written on a hoppy beer. I mean, c’mon,I need to give some explanation to any of you aspiring brew connoisseurs that are currently epic noobz (you know who you are). First off, hops are one of the key ingredients to all styles of beer and act as a preservative. Furthermore, they balance some of the sweeter, malty flavors and if enough are added, make the beer bitter tasting. The reason why I mentioned IPA (Indian Pale Ale) is because that style of beer always is defined by hop character. But the main point I’m trying to make is that all beers have hops and no one distinct style is loaded with them. And since any style can be hoppy and capture different hop characteristics, let’s jump into this beer style: the American Amber.
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