So while watching an episode of Shark Tank (if you haven’t seen it, it’s a cool business start-up negotiation show), I was subjected to a 30 second commercial that kind of pissed me off and confused me. Allegran, a pharmaceutical company that has made a lot of money from providing “help” for people that are insecure about their bodies coughcoughBOTOXcoughcough has come out with a new drug. Introducing: Latisse, “the first and only FDA-approved prescription treatment for inadequate or not enough eye lashes, growing them longer, fuller, and darker.” Oh that seem reasonable and stuff…wait…what?!
Now I’m not here to bash Allegran as a whole because when it comes down to it, they have produced some drugs/products that have real purpose. But seriously, what the hell kind of product is this? If you go on their website, they’re enticing women (let’s face it, very few men are going to be using this product) with Brooke Shields as the face to this brand. There are parts of marketing that make me sick – this is one of them. They’re getting women to believe that if they use this stuff they’ll have eye lashes like Brookey-poo. Oh, I’m sure she’s using this stuff all these years to have the lashes she has now. People, WAKE UP!
Supposedly, the FDA got unhappy with Allegran for their marketing campaign because they’re misleading women with this product (here’s the proof to that claim). Frankly, the side effects are barely touched upon in their campaign and insecure women all over the place just are disregarding all the warnings. These are the known side effects:
Darkening of eyelid skin (this may be reversible once stopped)
Possible increase in the brown pigmentation of the colored part of the eye (this is likely to be permanent)
Itching, eye redness, dryness and irritation of the eye or surounding eyelid skin where Latisse may be applied.
Now I know none of those are life threatening or anything but what I’m trying to get to is this: ladies, is it really worth the risk? As a guy that loves looking at boobs eyes, I can tell you this: I’m looking at you straight in the boobs eyes, not around! Sure you may have “sexy” 3 foot long eye lashes in the end but what if you look like a raccoon in the process? Seriously though with all jokes aside, how much more length could you possibly want, 1/4 of an inch?
I just wish that people could be more secure with their bodies…but I know this is impossible in our society. But is there actually a legit market of women that want longer eye lashes? Are there women that exist that look in the mirror and get legitimately upset about their eye lashes? Would these women spend money on a drug that can help? I think it’s one thing to complain about weight but then I think it’s quite another when we’re talking small hairs attached to our eye lids. Ladies: am I being insensitive?
I don’t know about you people but I really missed doing these reviews. And luckily for all of us, it’s fall/winter beer season, which is when a lot of my favorite seasonals start being made. But for the first time, I’m going to start this review directly after drinking- yay for blogging while buzzed! I did feel sort of weird drinking by myself for this review (Kraiggles the Bagels has moved out from across the hall) but now, this is a perfect opportunity to have guest reviewers join me! If any of you people feel like having a brewski conmigo, just talk to me and we’ll arrange a beer date. Anywho, after a delicious night of bagels and shmear (Happy Yom Kippur fellow Orange Jews!) and fantasy football victories, a beer seemed perfect…and it was. For this review, we’ll be looking at an English Porter, a style I’ve barely ever touched upon.
Similarly to stouts, porters are ales that are characterized by their darker appearances. English porters in particular first were brewed in the 1700’s and were known to be a blend of old ales, new ales, and weak ales. By combining the different types of beer, flavors will be balanced, complex, and satisfying. As noted by BA, because porters were comprised of three different beers, they were often referred to as “Entire Butt” or “Three Threads”. Generally speaking, porters are malty beers that are accompanied with a dash of bitter hops. Although this style doesn’t feature higher ABV levels, it attracts beer lovers with its bold tastes. The beer that I decided to try comes from a brewery that has been around since the time when porters first came into existence. So grab yourself a crumpet and a tuffet: we’re drinking one from across the lake. So after a summer-long hiatus, we’ll be starting back up with Samuel Smith’s “The Famous Taddy Porter”.
A classy label
The label for this beer is old fashioned looking (as it probably should) but does do a pretty decent job of grabbing your attention. The gold foil on the top, which to me can look snobby-ish, actually works really well and just adds to the decadence that is associated with this a beer that has been around for quite a long time. When poured out, The Famous Taddy Porter is very dark, purple/brown color. But with very little head retention and no obvious carbonation, I get bored looking at it very, very quickly. Already, I’m getting nervous that this is not a good beer in terms of starting up my reviews.
Boringtastical appearance
The nose of the beer was decent – smokey with prunes and hints of sweet toffee. But then for the first time ever, I got too close to the surface and accidentally snorted the beer up my nose. Let me tell you, this beer at the cold temperature that it started at did NOT feel lovely in my nasal region. Not only did I have to sit here blowing my nose for 10 minutes but then I had to experience the beginning of the Cowgirls beatdown of the Panthers…not at all a good start for these reviews. Nevertheless, the aromas were simple and distinguishable, which is good in my book.
And just when I though this was a meh beer, I tasted it. This beer had a creamy, expanding mouthfeel that exploded in my mouth (man do I miss making these indirect innuendos). Once I got past the mouth feel I was able to calm down and distinguish tastes: bitter hops, a light non-overpowering coffee flavor, and malts. This beer was very warming (perfect for this cold weather fluctuations we’re having up here in the iladelph) and was extremely drinkable. I was immediately sad that I only had one of these lying around and felt like I could have downed another two while watching the game.
Overall, this beer’s taste severely overcompensated for it’s boring appearance and slightly above average smell. I’d highly recommend that everyone tries this since it’s a great “beginner” porter; it’s not overpowering and is delicious/not one dimensional. Although I’d like to say that this beer is simple, I know it’s far from reality. Truthfully, this a complex beer that is very balanced, which gives the impression of it being a straight line when it’s really several huge flavor dips that balance each other out perfectly (I have no idea if that makes sense…sleep + buzz = tired. And the saddest part is that this is only 5% ABV – I’m such a lightweight) Anywho, here is my BA ranking:
The initial pour was good, just wish the head had stayed around...
As you can see I added all the photos directly to the post, which I’ll be doing from now on. I have no idea what my next beer review will be so either join me in the drinking process or just wait to find out!
So I’m sure most people already have seen this video but just in case, I had to share:
Let’s set something straight: I am NOT a baby person. The whole crying, crapping, pissing thing over and over again gets a bit old for me. And let’s face it, the idea of baby Evans running around is a scary, SCARY idea. Although I’d love to torture the world with babies eventually, I’m gonna hold off a bit though so everyone (including myself) can prepare. Either way, this video is freakin cute…
By the way, this is just a good distraction from my lack of post ideas – I need to get warmed up, people. Gimme a break!
A crappy impression of a zombie, but you get the idea
So I’ve decided after several blogless months that this was way too much fun for me to completely stop. I know what you’re thinking “Evan, we thought you were dead! Blah blah blah blah!” But now that I’m in grad school and I’ve got nothing to do during the day (MLIA), I decided I should revitalize my blogging tendencies. To all my loyal fans: I’m sorry I took so long to come back around. But hey, hopefully my second year of blogging will far surpass my first year. Let’s rock!
As a guy I really don’t know too much about the world of bras. I mean, they’re cool I guess and they do accentuate the goodies (unless you’re into that National Geographic look – I know you people exist), but ultimately, I look at them as just one more thing that’s getting between me and my goal. Well, that is until now.
Supposedly, a company called Lisca just created the “smart memory bra” – a bra that morphs based on the wearer’s sexual attraction at any given moment. If the wearer is attracted to someone and correspondingly their body temperature rises (which is a common side effect when you’re around furry man beasts such as myself), the bra will push one’s love bags up, creating a natural “push up” look. As their sexual attractiveness decreases, the breasticles will go back to normal and the cleave will retract.
Wow...that's a nice bra...yeah.....
To me, this is a win-win-win situation (man, do I love The Office). Let’s analyze this:
The ladies who wear this bra can look good for the men that they want. Sweet stuff, now you girls can attract the guys that you actually want. At the same time, us men who are horrible at picking up hints (guilty) now have a new way of catching the drift. And lastly, those of us who love the sport of motor boating can enjoy the show if you’re randomly a little sweaty. Booya! Now that’s what I’m talking about! I’d say that they should make some similar for men and underwear but I’m just not gonna go there. I’m comfortable with my sexuality and all but there’s a certain point where it’s just too much to handle.
Ladies: here’s the link to buy the bra, just make sure you show me how it works. Please….
Guys: here’s the link to the random magnified look of the bra…holy crap…
Yes! Two articles within the same week! I’M BACK, BABY! I’ve got a few lined up, so start checking the site more often, we’re gonna rock out with our socks out.
So being the avid Trader Joe’s shopper that I am, I love going food shopping simply because of the fact that I experiment with a lot of the food that I get. I really do make an effort to try new things all the time and have had mostly positive consequences from doing so. But sine I’m still only a mere level four chili chef, I’ve got to cook more and get some experience under my belt. I cooked these puppies a while ago, I just went through my blog abadonment for so long that I forgot to get to posting this experience. We can thank my stumble addiction (anyone that stumbles can understand that link) for this idea.
Here are the ingredients in a very scattered order:
Pizza dough (pre-made at Trade Joe's), mozzarella cheese, flour, salami, pepperoni, garlic powder, olive oil, onion flakes, sea salt, crushed up malgueta peppers, and tomato sauce
The first thing that needs to be done is loosen up the dough. Although I had some fun throwing the dough up in the air, it definitely made a mess because I had put some flour on it to keep it from sticking to everything (luckily, I did this out in my hallway so I wouldn’t have to clean my kitchen floor…but don’t tell my landlord or imma cut you). After it warms up and loosens up, I separated the giant glob into smaller bite size balls of dough.
Before I started stuffing each ball, I took the garlic powder, sea salt, onion flakes, and the malagueta pepper and combined them together to create a unique seasoning for the pizza bites. Additionally, I chopped up the cheese into small pieces as well as the salami and pepperoni. Each ball was then stuffed with several pieces of cheese, meat, and the seasoning. I also made sure that I put olive oil all over each ball and pinched them all closed so that I could avoid making a complete melted mess all over my pan. I also put some seasoning on top for some extra flavor. Make sure that if you decide to make some of these you spread out the balls (hahaha, womp) so they all have space to expand. There’s nothing worse than balls being stuck together…yep, that’s true.
One of several batches
Oh yeah, by now you should be totally preheated, so hopefully you’re not making these as you’re reading this article. Haha, I know that at least one person will do it. Anyway, pump your oven up to 400 degrees and when you’re done with however many batches you’re making (by the way, you can freeze these guys, I did it with at least one batch and they tasted fine when I cooked them later) pop them in the oven. Then wait for 20 minutes and wait for the magic:
5 minutes in with no flash
10 minutes in with too much flash
20 minutes in with perfect light exposure
Okay, so the cheese ’sploded out of a few of them, but they still look yummy! While they cool, make sure you heat up some tomato sauce for dipping purposes. Although mine turned out good, they could have been better. Here’s a huge suggestion for any of you that want to make these: make sure you put a LOT of cheese in each ball, seriously, overload them. Also, make sure that you have enough dough so that they don’t explode like mine did. The main problem is that they weren’t gooey, just cheesy. Even so, these turned out to be pretty good and would serve perfectly as finger food for guests before cooking them some of your “Evan-Made Chili“. Next time I’ll just make a pizza though, I have a feeling that would turn out awesome…
Hello beer review, long time no see. You’ve been doing well? That’s good. Now that we’re reacquainted, let’s begin:
Thanks to Jess for egging me on to get back to writing…I needed a little push Anywho, since many of you know that I’m such a huge hop head, I’m always down for a good IPA. But Kraiggles the Bagels had been raving about a beer for months that’s a super hoppy non-IPA. Now before I go any further with this review, I need to clarify something since this is one of the first reviews I’ve written on a hoppy beer. I mean, c’mon,I need to give some explanation to any of you aspiring brew connoisseurs that are currently epic noobz (you know who you are). First off, hops are one of the key ingredients to all styles of beer and act as a preservative. Furthermore, they balance some of the sweeter, malty flavors and if enough are added, make the beer bitter tasting. The reason why I mentioned IPA (Indian Pale Ale) is because that style of beer always is defined by hop character. But the main point I’m trying to make is that all beers have hops and no one distinct style is loaded with them. And since any style can be hoppy and capture different hop characteristics, let’s jump into this beer style: the American Amber.
The American Amber is a beer that can easily be tamed and is characterized by appearance. Ranging from a light red to a dark, deep red hue, the American Amber is pretty much an umbrella style that includes many, many beers. Although color in beer does not tell very much about what the beer tastes like, with every amber you can expect certain things. Since the amber color is created by adding a lot of grain to the brew batch, most beers under this style feature a malty backbone. But other than that, these beers can have relatively low to high hop levels, could be simple to complex, and could really feature any number of different flavors. This one in particular is a super hop bomb made with five different hops. I can’t wait to have a hopgasm: this review is for Troegs Nugget Nectar.
The label for this puppy is really friggin’ sexy in my opinion. Bright orange with a fist-sized hop: labels do not get any more blunt than that. Get ready to be punched courtesy of Hop Norris…Chuck’s beer cousin? Yeah, I swear I just make this stuff up as I go…Poured out, this beer looks a lot like cream soda. It’s completely transparent and clear looking with some “meh” head retention. And yes, meh is on the official scale of measuring head. Overall, sort of boring looking…the rest of its qualities better make up for it.
The smell of this beer definitely is impactful. Hops, citrus flavors (particularly orange) all burst into your nostrils to create an overall sweet aroma. Other than that, it’s really nice smelling and the hop complexity of the beer definitely rubs off on you.
Fortunately, the look of this beer is definitely compensated by its taste. The only real flavor that hits you is hop. However, unlike hops in IPAs, which generally can be sharp, to the point, and strong, the hops in this beer are completely incremental. As I enjoyed each gulp and swooshed it around, I could taste each of the different hops that this beer is loaded with. Since I myself love hops, I did not find this beer to be harsh or scary and believe that those who normally don’t like hoppy beers could enjoy this. Additionally, Troegs really perfected the release of flavors with this beer; nothing is nullified from a different flavor and it’s possible to really taste each part of the beer. Although the mouthfeel wasn’t anything spectacular and was a bit thin for my liking, it was so delicious that I didn’t care. Definitely really drinkable and definitely a beer that I’d be happy to have a few of. Just get ready to kill your palate, the hops tend to do that.
Overall, I really enjoyed this beer but I just wish I had written this article sooner. For some strange reason, this brew is seasonal to February, even though it’s really an all-year round beer. I’m not sure if you’ll be able to get your hands on this beer right now since they’re no longer brewing it at this time of year. However, next year, go buy yourself a six pack of it and give one to your good friend Evan…after all, he’s the one who told you about it
Yay pictures! Okay, more posts will be coming, I promise. I’ve got like 4 reviews lined up, so I just gotta crack down on them. Please keep sticking with me – it’s worth it!
Wow…you know you don’t write enough when you forgot you changed your blog’s theme…holy crapasaurus, I can’t believe some of you people are still loyal to me! I’m still in a weird life transition these days, which is my only explanation for not writing much. But anywho, I thought I’d talk about this random obsession I’ve developed recently: zombies. I have to blame Left 4 Dead completely for this…
Being the gamer that I am, I do crave first person shooters a lot of the time. But in the recent few years, I haven’t been able to find anything that’s good enough to grab my attention and retain it. I seem to always end up with games like Crysis: Warhead, which is really pretty to look at but EXTREMELY short/boring in terms of plot. Also, I’m all about interacting with other people online – there’s nothing more awesome than laughing at some geeky kid screaming at you because you took his armor or something. Oh Diablo 2…how you’ve supplied such good memories. So after some researching and $1000 later (yay for building an Evan-made compooper can actually handle games!), we come to Left 4 Dead.
When I first saw the trailer/demo of this game on X-Play about a year ago, I seriously had a nerdgasm. First person shooter/4 player co-op/hordes of zombies running straight at you? Yeah, that’s my kind of game. Although I never was really all that into zombies and whatnot, I figured why not? I loved Resident Evil 4, maybe I should give the undead genre a go. Ultimately, it was a good move.
Shooting zombies has never been so pretty....
The presentation of this game is very nice looking (typical of recent Valve games) but is extremely simple. There’s not much a plot line: you’re one of four survivors trying to survive through a campaign of zombies running at you full speed. That’s it. No back-story or resolved issue at the end. No character development or leveling up. Literally you just grab a gun and start going through the world taken over by a zombie apocalypse, hoping to be rescued at the end. Each campaign is creepy on its own and supposedly references several of the more famous zombie movies that I haven’t seen. From watching an airplane crash land right in front of you to being able to blow up a gas station or just simply walking through a hospital with ambiguous bodies lying on the floor, this game is effective at creating a world infested by a zombie apocalypse. But here’s the beautiful part: the game’s engine makes each campaign different every time you play. Blood written messages that are written all over walls are different every time and things like once alive humans/zombies can be found lying on the ground in different places every time. Additionally, zombies never spawn in one or two spots – they can be generated in small or large amounts in any area. So even though there’s only four maps, it feels different every time you play because of things like changing dialouges between characters, zombie spawn locations, and intensities of the game.
In terms of game play, there are very few complaints that can be made. Rather than playing through your typical plot, you choose one of four campaigns that are set up like individual movies. Each can last between one to two hours, depending on the set difficulty or the party that you’re with and is split into five chapters. Although upgraded weapons are available as you trek through the level (again, these randomly spawn at different places that rarely seem to be placed in convenient places), you have a choice of a few but varied weapons. But what makes the game so fun is how different the scenario can change. One minute you could be walking through an abandoned subway tunnel (super creepy/awesome) and the next you could be running back, being chased by literally 40 or so zombies. Ultimately, the online co-op play makes it amazing, your team dynamics can make or break the game – without any communication, this game is meh. Good thing there’s plenty of “cool” kids like me that have headsets for this game…yeah…Oh yeah, and if you don’t feel like playing the campaign, you can play as a specialized zombie in the versus mode. It’s four on four mayhem of you trying to kill each other through a campaign…sexy…well, not really…sorta.
The only complaints that I have is that once you get to know the levels, you stop exploring the beautiful worlds that were created. They really should of made a way for there to be multiple endings to each section of each campaign. Also, a few new weapons would rock too, maybe a different kind of pistol or assault weapon? Is that so much to ask?! Well, actually it’s not; in a week an expansion set is coming out which is the price of FO FREE (you know you love how “gangsta” I am…) All in all, this is an EXTREMELY good game. Here’s to shooting zombies in the face: 9.5/10.
The worst part of this entire game obsession is now I start thinking about how I could stake out rooms if zombies really did start taking over. I was just in 30th Street Station thinking about it: how scary/awesome would that be? Just thinking about how eerie it would be – a dark, huge room with no lights on and only the sound of zombies shuffling and moaning – makes me shiver in excitement. Ooooooh, that would be freaky! Seriously though, make fun as much as you want. If a zombie apocalypse does happen, I think all of my “training” through Left 4 Dead will come in handy. So yeah, laugh now while you still can. When you’re a zombie, you’re gonna get pistol whipped and then taste bullet courtesy of Chef Evan, “The Zombie Womper”. Some title…I think I’ll put that on my resume.
This was something that I randomly found while scavenging for a new article on the Eagles or Phillies on ESPN. Although I’d like to think that I’d want to parttake in this, I know I wouldn’t be able to – I’m trying to maintain my girlish figure.
Down in North Carolina every year, you can participate in something called the Krispy Kreme Challenege. For a mere $17, you get registration for the event, a nifty t-shirt, and an opportunity to have at it with 12 glazed KK doughnuts – 2,400 calories of sugary, fatty goodness. The task seems simple, nay…awesome: run 2 miles, eat a dozen KKs, and run back within an hour. And oh yeah, you can’t throw up or you’re disqualified. If you look on their site, you can see a list of all the successful competitors…jeez, some kid did it in 28 minutes!
During the first year of the KKC, 2004, only 15 people partook in the race and the founder of the challenge actually missed it because he slept in. Over the years, the challenge has grown in popularity and had over 5,000 particpants this year. One of the coolest parts about this challenege is that all proceeds go to charity. So get out and there and run, fatbody!
I changed my mind, I want in. Anyone feel like training with me? Here’s the original article; I suggest you check out the video of this year’s event.
So this week off actually did an excellent job of helping me get a grip of things. I ended up kicking ass on the GMATs and got my first 4.0 term GPA ever, so that’s pretty awesome/nerdy. But this spring I’ll be pushing the reset button on life and hope to start anew. Although I’m not sure where things stand with what I’ll be doing to occupy my time, I’ll definitely be writing more. I might be pursuing one of my many business ideas and using this blog as a way to promote the business as well. But random articles will continue and hopefully, new articles will become a daily occurrences. Last term of undergrad….here we go.
Anywho, since many of you know that I’m such a huge hop head, I’m always down for a good IPA. But Kraiggles the Bagels had been raving about a beer for months that’s a super hoppy non-IPA. Now before I go any further with this review, I need to clarify something since this is one of the first reviews I’ve written on a hoppy beer. I mean, c’mon,I need to give some explanation to any of you aspiring brew connoisseurs that are currently epic noobz (you know who you are). First off, hops are one of the key ingredients to all styles of beer and act as a preservative. Furthermore, they balance some of the sweeter, malty flavors and if enough are added, make the beer bitter tasting. The reason why I mentioned IPA (Indian Pale Ale) is because that style of beer always is defined by hop character. But the main point I’m trying to make is that all beers have hops and no one distinct style is loaded with them. And since any style can be hoppy and capture different hop characteristics, let’s jump into this beer style: the American Amber.
.jpg "Krispy Kreme")
